OLE'S FISHING BOAT

THIS STORY HAS BEEN CIRCULATED ON THE INTERNET -- CAPTURED HERE TO SHARE: Ole won a fishing boat in a raffle drawing in a small upstate Minnesota town. He brought it home and Lena looks at him and says, "Vot da heck you gonna do vit dat. Dere ain't no water deep enough ta float a boat widin 50 miles uv here." Ole says, "I vun it and I'ma gonna keep it." Sven came over to visit several days later. He sees Lena and asks where Ole is. She says, "He's out dere in his fishin boat," pointing to the field behind the house. Sven heads out behind the house and sees his brother sitting in a fishing boat with a fishing rod in his hand down in the middle of a big field. He yells out to him, "Vot da heck are you doing out dere?" Ole replies, "I'ma fishin'. Vot da heck duz it look like I'ma doing?" Sven yells back, "It'sa people lika you that give people from Norvay a bad name; make everybody tink we are stoopid. If I cud svim, I'd come out dere and kick yor ass."

A Pelagic Geezer Tale

Yeah, I built a metal boat, a sailboat. Didn’t put an engine in it.  Me and another guy sailed it to Hawaii.  Liked it so well we stayed there a while.  Sat at anchor long enough that coral and other stuff grew thick as brush on the bottom of the boat.  When we attempted to sail out of the cove through the gap in the reef, the boat sailed so poorly that we were blown on top of the reef.  We sat there like a teeter-totter.  Being ingenious sorts, we both ran forward to the bow at the same time and the boat slid off the reef into deep water on the other side of the cove.  This scraped all the growees and coral leeches off the bottom and the boat sailed just fine after that.  Didn’t hurt the boat at all.