Sunday, April 3, 2011

WHAT EXACTLY IS A GEEZER?

Geezers come in all shapes and sizes and in all kinds of disguises.  Being a geezer is a state of mind.  Many are retired, and some observers think a geezer must be retired to be a full-fledged member of the species.  Others, like my son, are surprisingly young.

But let's look at things species-wise.  Are these homely hominids a member of Homo sapiens?  After decades of research, I have concluded they are their own family and genus (Geezeridiae, Geezerus) and definitely their own species (i.e. Geezer waderensus).  Many women, however, continue to believe that geezers are closer to Homo neanderthalensis, that they simply fool us because most of them walk upright.  After all, one dictionary I consulted claims the word geezer comes from the Scottish word guiser, meaning "one in disguise."  The illustration above might help you.

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